Mary Elebijo

The Chronicles of a Lagos Commuter 1

There goes a saying ‘Lagos does not sleep’. On occasions when I had to wake up very early and leave my house around Four (4) a.m., the saying begins to interpret itself literally. You find Lagosians hustling and bustling before the break of dawn as twenty four (24) hours never seem to be enough time to cater for putting enough food on the table.’Time is money’.Time is indeed money for the rich and the poor. Sadly, the poor go about the timeliness to cater for their basic needs perpetually, while the rich go about time management to expand their horizon and maximize wealth as being comfortable is not enough. 

A distinct attribute of Lagos is Lagos traffic/Lagos transport system. Here, you get to know the sanity of a person. 

There’s yet another saying ‘Lagos drivers are mad except you who is driving’ this saying is supposed to be a corrective measure so that the magnitude of reckless driving reduces drastically. Has this helped? Not at all. Lagos is a place to flex muscles you don’t  have; threaten/bully people just to show how powerful you are, which in turn leads to undue respect from other people who seem timid.

Lagos is a place of the shouting rather than talking, a place of ‘do it anyhow anywhere’. Lagos is a land of exploitation. Lagos is a place of all your senses must be at Alert and then your intuition working perfectly in line beyond what you can see. Lagos is a land of open eyes, open nose, open ears, open mouth, brain highly operating.

The Yellow and black lined buses commonly known as Danfo is a number one platform that awakens individuals to their environment. An average danfo driver or conductor is one that shows how smart you have to be. They are the ‘flexers’ of muscles and the mouth that reins terrible words.

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After waiting for about Forty five  (45) minutes at the bus stop to board a bus to her destination, she finally hears 

‘Oshodi! Cele! Orile!’ ‘Oh I had better rush this concluded in her thought as she struggles her way into the rickety bus whose door had no strong attachment to the vehicle. It rips apart making some pushers trip. The driver and conductor realizing the number of crowd pushing their way through to get a caricature seat of a welded furniture. He states the price as N500. The pushing stops automatically like a button had been pressed to deactivate pushers. ‘See how he dey shout ‘500’ u fit pay am, your papa fit pay am they start hurling at both the driver and conductor on the outside and inside the vehicle there’s a problem of space creation as people go on the plus size instantly waiting to be addressed by the conductors ‘ 5-5 ní o e sun o, teba fe kin se were fun yin(It’s 5 people on a row create space, if you don’t want me showing you my madness). The Yoruba women immediately forms an association in the bus and starts hurling insults at the conductor which becomes  an exchange of curses. E fun mi owo yin (give me your money) the conductor says trying to sound in a tone that compels people to do what he has instructed  and then the women starts the whole hurling of insults for change.

You know who I beeee, I go beat you up for my area. How I go pay #500 said by a random passenger

Ó ya wèré ni, abí nkan sé é Lópòlò ó gbò nigbati mo so #500 ma sé wèré fun e malo te o (Are you mad? or is you having issues with your brain. Didn’t you hear when I said #500) . He starts to fold his hand to show him his fist dancing like his legs function only at the declination of money. The vehicle kept jolting into bumps and ditches.  Ó de ròra (Take it easy) shouts a representative of the Yoruba association. The bus suddenly comes to an halt and that’s not because of reaching a bus stop

But because there’s a tyre and engine problem 

É fun wà ówò wà o(Give us our money) Shouted Yoruba association. They keep hurling insults. Suddenly, the conductor is out of sight.

 

From the Desk of Mary Elebijo 

The Chronicles is of a Lagos Commuter 1.

Image Credit(s): Google Images

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